Janeway Fun
by ConsyCoffee
Summary: A comic relief piece. Will Consy survive Caleb's torments?


Title: Janeway Fun

Consy Coffee

Dedication: Thanks to the true Caleb a real inspiration for laughter. Also to his loving family and my dear friend Charlene!! Not possible with you!

_Chapter 1_

_Muddy Entrance_

A twelve year old Consy groaned as she noticed Caleb arrive towards her. He was taller than her now and there was no way she would be able to escape his grasp. The four (almost five) year old ignored his aunt who had arrived with Consy.

"Consy." He said, now able to pronounce C's correctly as he chased after her with his muddy fingers and some kind of mud cake for her. Consy groaned inwardly this time. There was no way she was going to get out of this one. Even Kathryn wasn't going to be any help, having entered the home with their luggage for the upcoming weeks.

"Caleb." Consy said, keeping his hands away from her clothes. She was holding his wrists "Nice to see you too." The last time they had met going back to nearly a year ago, during the Christmas week.

"Gift." He said, shaking off her grip and slapping the patted cake into her hands.

"Thanks." She said. He hugged her in his arms, truly happy to see her, dirtying her clothes and her hair. He held her hand tightly ready to run around, happy to finally have someone his size to play with. Consy who was a bit distracted did not realize he was yanking on her hand and her feet started to slip from underneath her.

The muddy terrain gave out from under her and she landed face first into the mud because of Caleb's tugging hand. As she started to fall, Caleb let go of it, laughing as he watched his pet dog chase after a chicken. The dog barked, and as if on cue Caleb ran off, forgetting about Consy.

Consy stood, drenched from the mud. It now covered her from head to foot. She wiped it from her eyes, set on getting revenge. There was no way her cousin would set foot in the house with only his hands dirty... She caught sight of him playing with the dog near the chicken coop. She carefully sculpted a ball of mud in her hands and threw it at him. It was right on target and landed on his head, making a comforting squishy sound as it exploded and dirtied his perfect curly blond hair.

"Hey!" He said. He started to stomp towards Consy,

Consy couldn't make out a word he said as he shouted. She scooped another ball of mud and threw it at him again, this time on his chest. He was furious, yelling louder.

"No point in shouting." She said, and hugged him, spreading the mud all over. "Now, we're even."

He pulled out of her hug and walked away, going toward the dog again, ignoring her.

Consy was satisfied. She stepped onto the veranda. Removing her dirty shoes and socks to not dirty the porch as she was about to head towards the door, Gretchen came out.

"There's no way you're entering the house like that." Grandma said sternly and she went back in.

Consy froze,, Gretchen had never spoken to her so gruffly before. When she returned a few seconds later it was with a bucket of soapy water and a towel. She dumped its contents on Consy's head. "Get out of those clothes and go wash up." She said, handing Consy the towel after.

Consy obeyed, Grandma was not in a good mood, nor to be messed with she thought

Consy entered. She was about to go up the stairs towards her bedroom (which had an attached bathroom) clad only in a towel when she was startled by Anderson.

"Don't worry, it's a muddy day.... she did the same thing to me earlier."

"Ok." Consy said as she slid upstairs.

_Chapter 2_

_Indian Man_

"Still no Indian man." Phoebe said to Kathryn the next morning at the breakfast table.

Kathryn pretended to wave her sister off but the slight flush indicated there was more to the question.

Consy hid behind her coffee mug as Phoebe looked to her for an answer.

"There is sooooo something you're not telling me." Phoebe said looking from one to the other. Kathryn and Consy were close accomplices on something.

"Mom!!!" Phoebe whined as she noticed the same pretend ignorant smug smile. Three Janeways' teamed up together could be dangerous.

"Morning." Someone said from behind Phoebe.

Kathryn smirked.

"There's the Indian man." Gretchen said as she laughed.

Phoebe turned pink as she turned around and looked into the Indian's eyes. He greeted Gretchen with a polite kiss on the cheek, then did the same to other family member before kissing Kathryn passionately and purposefully long, to tease Phoebe.

"You ask predictable questions." Gretchen said.

Consy leaned towards Phoebe, and whispered. "His name is Chakotay."

And so it was that Indian man, Chakotay, became part of family, and Christmas tradition. Ever so often, someone would tease Phoebe about the ''Indian man.''

_Chapter 3_

_Dripping Wet_

Caleb slowly crept into Consy's bedroom. He stood on tiptoes, ready to yank the blanket off of Consy. Consy was his favorite cousin! She reacted to his teasing, more than anybody else. He was also a bit taller than her....even if she was so much older. The fact that he saw her about two or three times a year added to her charm. He had thought through his practical joke very carefully and wisely. He pulled the cover off her very slowly. She stirred but did not wake. Once he had removed the blanket he carefully replaced it with a frozen towel. Once it was in place, he slid the exposed parts under the mattress, as if to tie her in. The only way for her to get out would be for her to scream for help. He smiled smugly; the cold towel which was starting to melt would soon wake her.

He slid out of the room, shutting the door gently behind him. He waited. It didn't take too long before he could hear her struggling.

"Caleb!!!" She called after him after a few minutes, knowing that only he could do something like that.

He headed downstairs, ignoring her calls, smiling broadly as he stepped onto the veranda.

Consy groaned as she heard the familiar sound of the door shutting. She knew he had just stepped outside. She was freezing, and the towel was dripping unto the mattress. She listened. The house was quiet; no one else seemed to be awake. As usual, he was the first to wake and had woken her. Rather cruelly this time. She struggled against the towel, but still it would not loosen, she was stuck. Her pajamas' were already soaked through. She looked around the room, trying to see if something could help her. Unfortunately the home was not equipped with the same technology as the Starfleet living spaces, so there wasn't a vocal recognition system. She shut her eyes thinking about her options. Fortunately for her, after ten minutes, a door opened. From the sound of it, it was Kathryn's.

"Kathryn?" Consy called through chattering teeth.

"Yes sweetie?" She answered, through the door.

"Could you come in?" Consy said carefully.

She entered a bit concerned and shut the door behind her. When Kathryn looked at Consy she understood her predicament. She refrained from laughing as she removed the wet towel from the bed, freeing Consy.

"Thanks." Consy said as she was freed from her restraints. She shivered from the cold.

Kathryn brought the wet towel to the adjoining bathroom, replacing it with a fresh, slightly warmed, dry one. She handed it to Consy. Consy took it, wrapping herself in it after she removed the wet pj.

"Not an experiment I take it?" Kathryn asked

"Caleb's … I will get him…" Consy said, the heat starting to return to her body. She wondered for a few seconds how she could get revenge. Somehow her trail of thought ended up on the fact that he was taller than her. She thought back, trying to recall the other children she had seen and observed. None of them had been as small as her.

Kathryn turned, about to leave.

"Mum?" Consy asked, she didn't use that word often. Even after a year it still felt a bit awkward. "Do you think I'll grow?'' Consy sighed, "Even Caleb is taller than me now…"

Kathryn paused and sat next to Consy. "It's really hard to say…''

Consy nodded, it just didn't seem fair that she was so tiny.

_Chapter 4_

_Bubbles_

Caleb stood watching the bubbles in the bath. He could see them tinkling and flashing according to the light. He watched as the foam turned white and fluffy, he wondered if bubbles could be any other color. He left the bathroom and went into the kitchen. He remembered how Grandma Gretchen changed the color of white icing. He opened the pantry door and then took a chair from the dining table to reach up to the higher shelf. He looked around for the tiny colored bottles. Green - green bubbles would be very nice and intriguing. As he thought that, he saw what he was looking for. He took it in his hands and went back upstairs. He gazed at the soapy water and poured some of the coloring in it. He waited, when nothing happened, he put pour the remainder of the bottle in. He was disappointed as the bubbles remained white. Apparently bubbles were not like icing. He was ready to leave when his cousin Consy noticed him.

"Out Caleb…" She kindly pushed him towards the door.

" But…."

"No buts…Out now." She stopped the tap.

He left. She shut the two doors, the one adjoining his bedroom, and hers. Locking his behind him, he had walked in on her last year! It wasn't going to happen again. She slid the bathrobe from her body and lowered herself into the warm water. She soaked in it. Taking a bath was something she enjoyed. It provided her with the opportunity to be alone, collect her thoughts and relax. After nearly half an hour Consy stirred in the water, as she raised her arm to get her washcloth, she noticed her skin was green. She lifted the other arm, confused. Seeing it green as well, she checked her legs just to be sure. They were green too. She waved her hands over the water, moving away the bubbles and noticed for the first time the color of the water. She drained the water and stood. She filled the tub with fresh water and tried to rub the green from her skin. After more than an hour of scrubbing, she realized there was nothing she could do. She stared at herself in the mirror. Even her face was now bright green, her flashy red hair quite the contrast. She groaned. Not knowing what else to do, she finally left the washroom.

She opened her bedroom door a crack, "Kathryn?" She called quietly.

"Yes hon…"

The voice came from down below, "Could you come up please?"

Kathryn came up the stairs after a few moments and entered Consy's room. One look at Consy was all it took before Kathryn burst out laughing. Consy thought did not laugh.

After a few minutes of laughter, Kathryn and Consy reentered the bathroom to discover what the contaminant was. Consy found the green food coloring bottle empty on floor. She suddenly remembered about seeing Caleb here earlier. "I am going to kill him..." Consy said as she picked up the bottle. She stormed out of the room in search of the monster.. She found him playing with his dinky cars. Kathryn ran after her wanting to save Caleb.

"Caleb did you put this in my bath?" Consy asked accusingly as she showed him the bottle.

He turned around hearing her tone and seeing her green, he suddenly remembered. So it turned water and skin green… He shook his head.

Consy put her arms on her hips and death-glared him. She didn't say anything at all, her eyes set for murder.

He finally nodded.

Kathryn watched, again, ready to jump in, expecting the situation to take a turn for the worse.

"What were you thinking?" Consy shouted, her tone filled with rage. She waved an angry green finger at him. "You're nothing but a … " Consy was having difficulty putting into words her feelings, she wanted to strangle him, shake some common sense into him. But before Consy could say anything further he fluttered cutely his long eyelashes at her. He was so cute and adorable when he did that. Usually she feigned fainting, but not this time "Stay away from me…" She half shouted and turned on one foot, running back to her bedroom crying. She slammed the door to her bedroom shut.

_Chapter 5_

_Icing_

A day later, Caleb knocked on Consy's door. She hadn't left it at all since yesterday.

"Go away."

He knocked again he had an idea for Consy. He had thought about it after getting scolded by his mom.

"I'm sorry." Caleb said through the door and finally he entered, knowing she would never let him in.

He held a bowl of icing in one hand moving towards her, trying to make amends. She remained silent, she was still mad at him

"This might help." He sat the bowl next to her on the bed, "White icing… should make skin white."

Consy stared at him confused. She did not understand.

"Icing swallows color." He said and took some of the icing and placed it in her green hands.

She shook her head at his logic, half smiling at it. She gave it a try, knowing he would not leave until she would. She rubbed the icing, to her surprise it did turn green, but her hands remained just as brightly green.

He pursed his lips in disappointment. "Sorry." He then shrugged and left her bedroom. At least he had tried.

It took a whole week before Consy's skin returned back to its normal pale and white hue. Fortunately it was in time for Christmas.


End file.
